One Faith, Many Paths: Stephanie Bethany

This week’s post is yet another interview with a fellow Christian. I’ve chosen fellow autistic Christian and YouTuber Stephanie Bethany.

1. What was your childhood like?

My childhood was pretty average, I guess. I grew up with an older and younger siblings in a two-part home for most of it until my parents divorced and a lot of things went sideways. I did well academically in school and was placed in the gifted and talented program, which honestly probably did me a lot of good, since it was an entire day out of the school week that let us work with other bright and off (probably some autistic) students in a creative space. For most of my childhood, my older sibling was my best friend and I’d occasionally make friends with one particular person at school and acquaintances with a few more. I’d grown up in the same school system so I knew most people from being with them all through elementary and such, so I think I had it easier. Once I got into the middle school grades, I didn’t know who was in my class except for those immediately near me, if then. When it came to “friends”, if that was people to talk to in general, I would have appeared to have a lot. But my idea of friends, the people you can actually talk about important things to and hang out with outside of school, I had very few.

2. When were you diagnosed with autism?

• I was diagnosed with autism when I was 23 years old. I had been suspecting for awhile until then, went through a whole crazy process just to get a referral (sadly, mine was probably easier than most). I think the whole process caused a lot of different emotions. When I was researching about it to see if this was, indeed, what was going on with me, I felt seen. But I also felt scared — autism wasn’t a comfortable word. It wasn’t fixable. When I began to realize that this explained so, so much about me, I went through a time of mourning. I was never going to be the person I imagined I’d turn into one day. I wasn’t going to magically develop the same abilities those around me had. Then I went through a time of feeling very displaced, as I began to realize how much I’d lied to myself about people and my experiences. How much I convinced myself that people weren’t really that bad, that I knew the real them –I was just my naïvety being incapable of accepting people I loved could be like that. I realized that people probably saw me as weird and uncomfortable to be around. My whole self-perception as well as perception of what I thought I knew, especially about standing with other people, was very shaken. While there was a sense of relief,of someone actually being able to understand me, of me not just being crazy –it all came with the price of understanding that I had convinced myself of a lie, that I would be someone that I could never be. With my diagnosis, it was permission to talk about it. By that point, I knew I was autistic, but I had to make it through the processes. I finally was allowed to speak about my experiences and what I was learning about, because I didn’t dare talk about it without an official diagnosis because of the pushback. Now, I feel a lot more self-described and feel a lot less self-hatred than I used to. It helped me so much to know why I was the way I was, that certain things had names, and that being autistic wasn’t a death sentence.

 3. Why do you post videos about autism? Tell me about your lengthy videos on Autism $peaks and ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis).

I post videos on autism for many reasons. It’s my form of expression and a way to share what I learn and experience with others. I want people to be able to understand others and themselves more and I believe that making the videos that I do helps facilitate that. It’s also a bit of my own journey of learning who I am and what that means for me and letting other people come along with me, especially if it will help them in their own journeys. Sometimes, when I find out about things, I feel a very strong urgency, as if it’s life or death even, to let the world know. That was the case with my mini-series on Autism $peaks and revealing their past and practices, as well as a two-hour-long video on ABA. I strive to bring a balanced, researched, and understanding view to things, and I felt it was missing in these cases. I felt it was missing in these cases. I felt people needed to be presented with what was truly going on, but not in an extremist way that would stop people who might currently be for these things from listening. I have been moved quite a bit by the impact people have stated the ABA video has had on them, especially when it comes to professionals and parents who have to make decisions regarding therapies and programs.

4. Why are you a Christian?

I’m a Christian because it’s the only thing that has ever really made sense to me. I grew up in a Christian household, and even after it split and we had all sorts of turmoil, I always knew God to be my constant. I know God has been with me in my darkest places and I’ve had very real experiences where God has come through for me or times of intense prayer that can’t be explained away. I know I have peace in Him, and that no matter what I do in life, I need Him with me.

5. What denomination are you?

I actually don’t belong to a denomination. I used to say “non-denominational” since that sounded like what I meant, but I’ve since learned that term can also apply to mixing different things in Christianity, which I don’t follow. For me, I believe the whole Bible, nothing more and nothing less and I’m Spirit-filled.

The Fictional Spectrum: Entrapta

Up until now, my Fictional Spectrum series has been focused on heroes. This time, I’ve chosen someone who isn’t a hero. At least, not yet.

Netflix has been airing a reboot of the 80’s toy-driven cartoon She-Ra: Princess of Power that is being created by Noelle Stephenson. I was interested because I grew up with the original series (and its distaff counterpart), and I wanted to see what new possibilities she could bring. 

When Entrapta was introduced, I suspected right away that she was on the autism spectrum. (And now thanks to leaked character designs, it’s been confirmed by Stephenson herself) The Princesses try their best to sway her allegiance, but she really doesn’t seem interested. She only joins out of curiosity.

If you isolate the caption, you see the phrase “as an autistic”

Entrapta has difficulty making friends. In fact, when we meet her, the only true friend she has is her robot Emily. A few episodes later, the Rebellion accidentally leaves her behind in The Fright Zone, the headquarters of the Evil Horde. Even though she helps the Horde, she does not truly believe in their cause. All she’s interested in is all the ancient technology they’ve acquired. She’s only interested in science for science’s sake, not for good or evil.

 It’s only at the end of season 3 that she starts to realize the consequences of her actions. When she sees the damage the portals can do, she tries to stop the Horde. She realizes the portal will rewrite the fabric of reality itself, and wants no part in that. But it’s too late, and Catra exiles her to Beast Island. It is here that she is reunited with the Rebellion. She learns that Adora never gave up on her. Not that that is what convinces her to change sides. Nope, in true autistic fashion, they have to play to her interests and entice her with their own ancient technology.

I think it’s cool that She-Ra has introduced an autistic character in this way. I definitely want to see how she evolves further. This is how you represent a disability, not by checking off a box, but by fully realizing how multifaceted a character can be.

Sesame Street Has Betrayed Autistics

In 2015, Sesame Street introduced an autistic Muppet named Julia, their first new Muppet in years. When I saw this, I was cautiously optimistic. They had aligned themselves with two groups, ASAN (the Autism Self-Advocacy Network) and Autism Speaks. This was a cause for concern, as one company is actually run by autistics, for autistics. The other is a hate group. Let’s not mince words, that’s precisely what Autism Speaks is.

It seemed at first that ASAN was the group they were listening to the most. Julia was made into a girl, which was a great idea. Most of the time when an autistic character is depicted, they are usually boys. This would be an ideal way to show the audience that both boys and girls can be autistic. Having her be friends with Elmo, Abby Cadabra, and Big Bird was also a great idea, as all three characters are popular with the children who watch. They showed both the strengths and weaknesses of autism, and did not seem to depict it as something terrible, just something that made Julia unique. Her puppeteer was even someone who had an autistic child. And she also had two rods for her arms so she could stim by flapping them.

Bookworm: To Siri With Love by Judith Newman

My mom gets Reader’s Digest each month. In the October 2017 issue, they published an excerpt from Judith Newman’s book To Siri With Love. The excerpt piqued my interest, so I borrowed it from the library. On the exact day I started reading it, I saw a campaign on Facebook using the hashtag “#BoycotttoSiri” I read the articles about the book and was heartbroken.  This mother can’t be this bad, can she? Spoiler alert–she is.

There is a type of mother in the autism community called the “autism mom.” This is a mother who sees herself as a martyr because of the “suffering” she goes through for her child. She will complain endlessly about how terrible it is to raise a child. They rarely, if ever, celebrate the joys of motherhood because they don’t see it as joyful. They see it as a burden.  That is my first problem with this book. She even has the audacity to ask if her child is thinking and say she is unsure if autism should be cured. (The correct answer to that question that should never even be asked is NO! Not yes, or maybe, or unsure–NO!) The reason this is a problem is that these parents don’t seem to realize that EVERY parent has difficulty raising children, even the ones who aren’t autistic can be difficult! This does NOT make you a martyr.

My second problem is how she treats autism advocates. She is very condescending about them, almost as if she doesn’t value their opinion. In fact, when autistic YouTube personality Amythest Schaber called her out for calling her a “manic pixie dream girl” (a derogatory term for overtly cheerful women. Because autistic women can’t possibly be cheerful), Newman didn’t apologize–she gaslighted her! She made it seem as if, by not asking for her permission to be quoted, she was doing her a favor. A “nice surprise”, she called it. She then called her a brat because Schaber still persisted to criticize her dehumanizing book. In short, if you don’t share her POV, you’re not worth her time.

One Faith, Many Paths: Jannah Leah

This is my first interview with an Eastern Orthodox Catholic. Thank you, Jannah Leah.

1) How was your childhood?

Fairly average, I guess. About the biggest thing that impacted me was my parents’ divorce when I was six. I was also bullied all throughout school, which affected my self-esteem. To this day, I still suffer from self-esteem issues.

2) How did you become a Christian?

Really it was a combination of a few factors. I have suffered from depression for most of my life and in some ways faith has aided with that.  I also have an interest in history, theology, etc.  Religion is a subject that I’ve always found quite fascinating despite my family’s own irreligious background.

To give the short answer, I chose to become Christian because the messages were appealing to me.  I also found the historical evidence for Christianity, particularly Orthodoxy, to be overwhelming. No other religion can claim their historical figures performed public miracles.

3) How has your family taken your conversion to Christianity, given that they do not share your beliefs?

It’s been mixed. My mother is of the mindset that it’s a good thing if it’s what makes me happy. Others still don’t really know since they’re not particularly fond of religion.

4) You said that you used to be somewhat of a troll. What led to the change?

I guess the easiest answer would be that I simply grew bored of it and matured.  It also got rather tedious to have to constantly create new Facebook accounts.

5. When were you diagnosed as autistic?

I was fourteen I believe. Somewhere in my early teens.

One Faith, Many Paths: Trevor Justin Gawthorne

This month for my “One Faith, Many Paths” project, I decided to interview one of the members of my Autistic Christians group on FB. Here’s Trevor Gawthorne from Down Under!

1. How old were you when you became Christian? When I was 16. I got bullied a lot over it.

2. What was your childhood like? It was all right. Most of it was decent. Eight years old was the last time I remember it being good.

3.When were you diagnosed with autism? Did you receive any help? I was diagnosed at 6 with autism and ADHD.

4. What is your current job? Unemployed.

The Child Behind the Glass

As someone who uses Facebook, I see many articles about autism shared around, and often from an ableist perspective. One way to tell if the article you’re reading is going to be full of misinformation is if you see the image above. I hate it. HATE IT! Allow me to explain why.

First off, it conveys the image that autistic people are isolated from society. They are not. Yes, many are extremely introverted, or in some cases they may even be non-verbal. But neither should be a barrier to communication. There are more ways to communicate than with words: hugs, handshakes, giving someone a “high-five”, waving, etc.

The Death of Suzanne Wright

I opened my Facebook this morning and discovered that Suzanne Wright, one of the founders of Autism $peaks, has died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 69. I knew right away that I had to make a blog topic about this.

I am not sure how I should respond to this. Autism $peaks is an organization that is misunderstood by the press and vilified (and rightfully so) by the autistic community. Despite their motto being “It’s time to listen”, they have not once listened to the people they claim to represent. Their platform has always been not helping autistic people, but curing them of autism. They see autism as a disease. They do not wish to understand us. The only way to truly “cure” a person of autism is for that person to not exist at all.

Suzanne Wright started her organization because her own grandson was diagnosed with autism. She felt as though autism had taken her grandchild away from her. But that’s the thing–people like her do not realize that EVERY child is difficult to raise. Would it have been better if her child was born without autism? Not necessarily. Her grandchild would still have difficulties and struggles. And the child would have been a completely different child.

The Fictional Spectrum: Linus Van Pelt (Peanuts)

“I love mankind. It’s people I can’t stand!”

As many of you know from my other two articles about Peanuts, it’s one of my all-time favorite comic strips.  My favorite character is Linus Van Pelt, the middle child of the Van Pelt family. In fact, I think he may be autistic.

Of all the characters in the strip, Linus seems the most intelligent. His dialogue is often prone to monologues. He will go on talking about any topic he is most interested in, especially the Great Pumpkin, baseball, or the Bible.  In the Christmas special, he’s the only one who still knows the true meaning of the holiday–everyone else is too wrapped up in the frivolity and consumerism.  In Halloween stories, he’s the only kid who believes in the Great Pumpkin, and the rest of the kids often ridicule him for this. His interest in baseball rivals that of Charlie Brown’s.

Linus’s biggest weakness is his “security blanket”. He’s rarely seen without it, often sucking his thumb while holding it. Perhaps holding it gives him comfort, like holding a stuffed animal does for some children. Whenever Lucy tries to break him of this habit, he will become anxious and panic. Lucy is the only person who even tries to separate him from his blanket. (Well, there’s Snoopy on some occasions, but he just does it as a prank if nothing else.)

One Faith, Many Paths Special: Interview with…Me!

I’ve reached another milestone. This will be my 200th post. I’ve decided mark this occasion by presenting an interview with someone I will interview in the future and allowing him to ask the questions, rather than the other way around. I figured this would be a great way for new readers to know me better.

1. You’ve been a Catholic all your life, and I know your faith is central to your life. Have there been times when you questioned? How did you handle that? I believe that if you go through your life as a Christian without once doubting yourself, then you are spiritually blind.  Yes, I’ve doubted. When I learned about all the atrocities that are often linked to Christianity, I doubted whether I should consider myself part of it. What kept me in the faith was that I reminded myself that I only have my own actions to ask for, not anyone else’s. God knows my heart. I also read up on the saints. When I saw all they did for the glory of God, I wanted to be a part of that.
2. Your autism is another part of you. When did you first realize you were different–even special in terms of those around you? I think it first happened in high school. When I finally became mainstreamed, I never experienced a desire to wear a mask and pretend I was something I wasn’t. Then in college, my counselor told me and my mother that she thought I had Asperger’s. At first, It never really clicked. But my mother insisted that I do research on the disorder, if only to explain it to others. It was that research that opened me to the possibility that it was a gift. It also made me realize that God had possibly meant for me to spend all those years in Special Ed that I had spent for my bad behavior, especially my temper.
3. A follow-up to that–what do you think is the biggest misconception about Autism and Autistic people? I think there are two. The first is that it is something that can be removed or outgrown. While it is true that some autistics can “pass” for being neurotypical, that doesn’t mean we’ve outgrown autism. It just means we’ve adjusted to what society expects of us. The second is that we don’t have emotions. I think this is often perceived because we often express our emotions differently from those not on the spectrum. In fact, there has been research that has concluded that our emotions and those of our peers can often overwhelm us, perhaps more easily than those not on the spectrum.
4. What are some of your favorite hobbies and what do you enjoy about them? I am an avid reader, especially of science fiction. I think what’s best about it is that it allows me to escape from the pressures of this world. It allows me to unwind when I experience a world that is different from my own.
5. How would you define your life philosophy–to put it more simply, do you have a personal motto? My motto is to always try to find the good in everything. I’m not always living by this principle, but I’ve learned there is good in everything that happens. If I focus on that, it helps me not to fall into despair.
6. Favorite Books? I’d have to say the writings of CS Lewis, primarily. Not just his fiction, but also his non-fiction. His non-fiction is so simplistic. He doesn’t rely on purple prose or empty words. He explains everything about Christianity as simply as he can. He’s often been discredited because he’s not a theologian, but I don’t think that should dismiss him. I’d have to say his best book that isn’t connected to Narnia would be Mere Christianity. It’s a great bare-bones approach to Christianity, and I always recommend it to anyone who wants to know where to start with his non-fiction.