It’s that time of year! Time for the TV channels to put out their annual Holiday fare. And while there are some great classics out there, sadly they can’t all be It’s a Wonderful Life or Charlie Brown Christmas. So this week, here’s the worst Christmas movies and specials I’ve ever watched, in no particular order.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York–Hey, I got an idea! Let’s make a sequel to a great Christmas movie! And let’s only change the location and do many of the exact same gags again! And let’s have Kevin not learn a thing from the previous movie! Oh well, at least Tim Curry is in it.
Flintstones Christmas Carol–My biggest problem with this one was the Flintstones shouldn’t even be celebrating Christmas! They should be celebrating Saturnalia, or any of the other winter solstice festivals that came before Christ. Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re going to say, “Jason, you can accept talking dinosaurs, cavemen using animals for electrical appliances, and cars you have to push with your feet, but celebrating Christmas is going too far?” Oh and how about Fred turning up the jerk meter way more than usual? Yeah, I hate this one.
He-man and She-ra Christmas–Look, I can take a planet that’s never heard of Christmas despite being settled by humans. That’s fine. But here’s what ruins it–Skeletor’s heart grows two sizes because of the Christmas spirit! Are you kidding me? One of the greatest villains of my childhood turns into the Grinch?
Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol–Maybe I just don’t like this because I was never a Mr. Magoo fan. to begin with.
Yogi’s First Christmas–Now Yogi Bear on the other hand, I’ve always liked Yogi Bear. And I love that it even brings in so many of the well-known Hanna-Barbera characters like Snagglepuss and Huckleberry Hound. But Ranger Smith is too nice in this story. They’re supposed to be enemies!
Tiny Toons Christmas–Oh joy! Tiny Toon Adventures was one of my favorite cartoons growing up. It paved the way for Animaniacs, another classic of the 90’s. While this does have some great laughs,(Montana Max doing Potter from It’s a Wonderful Life is hilarious) what ruins it for me is Buster Bunny. He’s so out of character in this story, just so they can force a by-the-numbers version of It’s a Wonderful Life. Fortunately, Animaniacs gave us two much better Christmas offerings.
Rapsittie Street Kids Believe In Santa–This special looks horrible! Did they really think that if they spent so much money on the voice talents (seriously Mark Hammil, Nancy Cartwright, and Grey Delisle must not’ve been cheap) we wouldn’t notice how awful everything is? And Santa doesn’t even show up! He knew this special was horrible, so he didn’t even bother to show.
Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer–I’ve never gotten the point of the song, much less the cartoon. It’s not funny. It’s not clever. It’s downright mean. It’s not a joke. OK, yes, the animation does look great, but that doesn’t help the fact that the song is still terrible, and so’s the story.
So, don’t watch these. Just put on one of the good specials. Make it a good Christmas.
Aspie Catholic 